David answers your questions: bodies, grief and being watched

Okay, this post follows on from one earlier this week when I suggested you could send in questions for (dead) David to answer.

Initially, I thought it was a good idea, but then you sent me 137 questions, which filled 29 pages when I printed them out! You lot are crazy!

BUT. Without doubt, you have asked some excellent questions, ones I never thought to ask anyone before. So with that in mind, David and I have decided to answer as many as possible, but do so over the next few weeks. Simply because there are so many good questions and some of them require a lot of work for both David and me.

These answers are not as expansive as I would like, but I will write more about each question when I can. David suggested I provide in depth answers to the big questions in a book. If I get around to that, I will send a copy to everyone who commented on the original post.

How does it feel to not have a physical body? And how does it feel to be able to see us, hear us and be around us when we can't see you? (Christina E)

DAVID: Yeah, well that's a real deep one! At first it is confusing because you are used to moving your arms and legs to do stuff, but there's no arms and legs to move, so it's weird. But you get used to it pretty quick because you don't need a body here, no one has one. It's like having a body really weighs you down.

Being free from my body is actually a bit of a relief. When I think about having a body, I don't like it. It feels dirty, slow, and trapped. Like, I remember all the aches and pains, the hangovers and you know, and the "meatiness" of it all. You lot are a bit gross when you think about it, all that sweat and farts and shit, it's not nice, mate!

But, you know, I remember what it was like, having a body and I can still feel it, sort of, sometimes. Nah, it's more like I can remember what it's like to touch someone, it's a memory of touching. When I think about it, I remember what it feels like to hold a golf club in my hands, or the taste of a proper brew (nice cup of tea), or the weight of Emily (daughter) when I picked her up. All that stuff, yeah, I remember what it feels like.

SIMON: How does it feel to be able to see, hear and be around us when we can't see you?

DAVID: Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that takes a lot of getting used to. It's difficult at the start because I just wanted to reach out and grab hold of my kid and Sarah (girlfriend), you know, it was hard. Don't get me wrong, it's not like they can't see me and they definitely feel me sometimes.

Emily is grown up, has her own life and doesn't think about me much. She doesn't remember me. In a way, I'm happy for it because I don't want her being all maudlin, yeah, that just wouldn't be good.

Here, mate, this is important, yeah, so make sure you write it down; I can't explain it properly to you because you wouldn't get it, but I don't know anyone here who sits around all depressed because you lot can't see us. We all get on with it, it's like we notice you thinking about us, and we know that you feel it when we are around, and that's enough, most of us don't need more than that. Besides, it's only a matter of time until all you lot are over here, trying to push yourselves into our nice, tidy lives ;-)

If I think about it, I think it's more of a problem for you lot, than it is for us. We can see and feel you whenever we want. And, it's not as difficult as you think for us to get our point across to you if we want. I am still part of Emily's life, I've been around to experience things with her that her Mum would never be able to. It's a different life for us and it's pretty good, if you ask me.

We are going to leave that question alone, and move on to the next one.

When we grieve and have a hard time here, does it affect your life David, where you are, and in what way? Will it then be very difficult for you to "enjoy" where you are? (Bente K R)

SIMON: Let's take this question piece by piece. It's a good question and I want your answer to be as clear as possible.

DAVID: Aye, it does. So, yeah, we don't hear the words you speak, but we feel what you mean. So like, when Sarah was grieving hard and I was spending a lot of time around her, I felt her grief, and it was difficult. None of us wants the people they love to be in such pain and so, yeah, it hurts.

But it doesn't affect our lives in any way, it's just like we are going through the grief with you. It doesn't hold us back, unless we want it to. There is nothing to hold us back from, things happen here whether we are on board with them or not.

Everyone grieves when someone dies, that's just the way it is. It's the same for us. When I died, I was seriously upset for ages. Yeah, grief is the only word to use. I grieved, not because I was dead, but because suddenly my life was changed and I couldn't talk to Sarah and Emily. When shit REALLY hits the fan, it's natural for people to touch and hold each other, I think it's nature. My problem was that I couldn't do it, and it really pissed me off.

SIMON: Do you enjoy yourself over there?

DAVID: Things change when you get here, some things are just different. There is none of that, I don't know how to say it. . . there's none of that constant noise in your head. Everything is easier, more chilled out. It's hard to explain. It's like there's a calm breeze that I'm part of, there's no rushing around chasing money, sex, "progress". We often look at you lot and shake our heads LOL. You're all running around like crazy, for nothing.

Yeah, I enjoy myself. I love being around Emily and feeling what she feels. I haven't missed out on anything, I've still been her Dad.

You remember the Haç (Haçienda night club), imagine being there and feeling everything, the whole atmosphere, individual people, groups of people, imagine being able to feel it all! Love it! It's a different way of experiencing everything, that's all.

Remember when we used to go fishing? Imagine being able to feel everything to do with it. It's much bigger and better than just being there and experiencing it from one person's perspective. You feel the whole thing, the calmness, the anticipation, the sleepiness, the lack of focus and instant pure focus when you get a fish.

Until you feel it for yourself, you aren't going to get it, you won't understand it. Life is different here, it's just different. I'm not sure I answered that lady's question. . .

SIMON: Don't worry mate, you did fine.

Okay, this is where we are going to leave David and your questions. I will sit down with him over the weekend and ask some more questions. I hope you have found his answers interesting.

Simon

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