Erik died a week ago, and his wife is already rolling her eyes at him

Short version

Erik died a week ago. When I spoke to him yesterday, his late wife was already standing beside him, rolling her eyes at him.

Long version

Erik wasn't an easy man to live with. Now that he's dead, the tone is entirely different.

I spent a couple of hours with him yesterday, a week after he passed. The dementia had taken its toll towards the end, and he wasn't exactly the easiest to be around. He was grumpy, hard to reach, and he had a strained relationship with his children, one that certainly wasn't made any easier by the illness.

His wife sadly passed a year ago, but because of the illness he still believed she was alive.

But! When Erik came through to me yesterday, it was pure, childlike joy.

He was beside himself wanting to show me everybody he'd met since he died, everybody who'd been standing there waiting for him.

And then, of course, his wife. When he talked about her, it was as though the tears were simply running down his cheeks. He was overcome with happiness. Completely, unreservedly overjoyed to be reunited with her.

I'm not exaggerating, folks. That's exactly how it felt.

Erik's wife was there too, slightly in the background, genuinely happy to be with him again. But she stood there rolling her eyes at how wildly over the top he was being about the whole thing.

It was one of those completely genuine moments where the joy and the energy just poured out of a person, and it was infectious. I couldn't help but get swept along with it, and it was absolutely wonderful.

I'm not going to claim everybody arrives on the other side like this, or that this state lasts forever. Erik's only been gone a week, and he'll no doubt settle into a calmer state, more like himself, in time. But that isn't the point.

The point is that the dementia wasn't who he was. It was just the car he got stuck behind the wheel of for those last few years.

For a family who've had a brutally hard time with him, it meant something to be able to tell them that their father arrived on the other side like that: fired up, crying real tears of joy over his wife. It gave the grief a different perspective.

I deal with death most working days, and this chat with Erik left me grinning all afternoon. So of course I wanted to share a bit of that joy with you.

Well... if you need me, Facebook folks, you know where to find me 😊

Wishing you a brilliant week ahead 🥰

Simon

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